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Translation -
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
http://www.wikihow.com/Tip-a-Bartender-Properly
Thank you and have a nice evening. I am off to drink jager.
4 cloves garlic, slivered
2 shallots, minced
zest & juice of 1/2 lemon
zest & juice of 1/2 lime
2 red peppers, cut into strips
1 broccoli w/ stalk, cut into bits
2oz whisky
2oz black bean sc
2oz oyster sc
2oz franks hot sc
13 oz vanilla vodka
Drink 3/4 of the vodka. Saute the garlic, shallots, lemon & lime zest and juice until translucent. Add peppers and broccoli, turn to high. Add sauces and 1oz water. Cover 5 ish minutes. Uncover. Drink rest of vodka. Pull pan off stove because it’s probably burning. If you didn’t burn it, eat. Chopsticks are traditional, and waaaaaaay more fun after a half bottle of vodka.